Random Funnies Thread

[Jimmy]

[Tony L]

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family."
No one moved.
The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."
Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation roared.

[bluenose]

Just Out For A Rip
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/11/27 ... 50768.html

[jeffsmith]

Just Out For A Rip
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/11/27 ... 50768.html

That's awesome. The potato cannon was a nice touch.

[HPhunter]

That's some funny shit right there.
"Right bud"

[Jimmy]

In NB

[Keggermeister]

[Keggermeister]

[mikeorr]

I struggled in deciding where to post this funny YouTube video, whether here or the 'random crap on the internet' or maybe the hipster lumberjack discussion in the Stillwell thread

Anyways, I loved it - going to use the Batman bit myself I think, lol



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWBV7yKWhWE

[chalmers]

Fixed it, doesn't like httpS in the URL.

[Tony L]

What Starts with F and ends with K

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked,'Harry, what's your problem?'

Harry answered, 'I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!'

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test..
Principal: 'What is 3 x 3?'

Harry: '9.'


Principal: 'What is 6 x 6?'

Harry: '36.'

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, 'I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.'

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, 'Let me ask him some questions.'

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, 'What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?'

Harry, after a moment: 'Legs.'

Ms Brooks: 'What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?'

The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!

Harry replied: 'Pockets.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a dog do that a man steps into?'

Harry: 'Pants.'

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?'

Harry: 'Coconut.'

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: 'What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?'
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, 'Bubble gum.'

Ms. Brooks: 'What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?'

Harry: 'Shake hands.'

The principal was tremb ling.
Ms. Brooks: 'What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?'

Harry: 'Firetruck.'

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, 'Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......'

[Keggermeister]

[Keggermeister]

[Keggermeister]

[Keggermeister]

[Jimmy]

[Keggermeister]

[Keggermeister]

[jacinthebox]

just had a convo with someone that said drinking was bad...bible reference...so I thought WWJD

[akr71]

If I can't unwatch this, then neither can you...

[Keith]

http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-book-titles-covers/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I got a good laugh out of a few.

[jeffsmith]

More Ford:

[bluenose]

http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-book-titles-covers/

I got a good laugh out of a few.

I own "How to Shit in the Woods"

[GAM]

http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-book-titles-covers/

I got a good laugh out of a few.

I own "How to Shit in the Woods"

I do too!

Sandy

[GuingesRock]

http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-book-titles-covers/

I got a good laugh out of a few.

I own "How to Shit in the Woods"

I do too!

Sandy

What's it about?